Wednesday, April 6, 2011

Old Sayings....Reconsidered: "Never Bring a Knife..."

Never bring a knife to a gunfight—but a blender might be alright. You could whip up some daiquiris, get all the prospective gunfighters good and drunk, and when they pass out you could steal their guns and replace them with knives. Then, when they wake up, you could yell, "Never bring a knife to a gunfight, bitchez!", and shoot them.

Never bring a knife to a gunfight—bring a blender instead. And rum, limes, and a sweetener of some kind. (I prefer powdered sugar.) And make sure there's a power source for the blender. I don't know about you, but I've always pictured gunfights taking place in a barren place in the great outdoors—so you might want to consider a generator. And you're going to need a bunch of knives, to put in place of the guns on the gunfighters after they pass out, which of course means that you're bringing knives to a gunfight, which takes us right back where we started.

How about you just not go to gunfights? Is that so hard?

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